Many of my clients have had the trajectory of their lives affected by the 4 D’s... death, divorce, depression, and disease. When these come knocking on our door, we have a choice.
We could either cave, suffer, shut down, loose our minds, or wallow in anger and misery, OR we can see it as an opportunity to see where things got off center, where we need to step up in life, and find the path to make ourselves whole again.
This is no easy task, yet it is a calling to see if we have the courage and strength within ourselves to rise out of the fire and ashes. These 4 D’s will come knocking on all of our doors at one point or another in life. Whether it be a heart attack, cancer, fatal car accident, mental illness, death of a loved one, divorce, autoimmune disease, violence, you name it. None of these things are enjoyable moments in life yet we will experience them in one way or another.
When these unfortunate occurrences happen, every internal wound from the past and present get dragged to the surface and can knock us so far off-our-rocker we lose a sense of our own lives. Prior wounds get triggered again. Fear, anger, and trauma comes creeping out and jades the life we once knew removing joy, enthusiasm, adventure, and gratitude from life.
We ask ourselves… How did this happen? Why me? How did I get so lost? Why did I not see this before? What’s the point? What did I do to deserve this? All these questions are valid, yet questioning without taking action to move to a solution keeps us in a never-ending self-destructive spiral of “why me” and wishing someone else would save us.
If we get hit with depression or disease, we try to attack it and “fix it” without looking deeper at the contributing circumstances that created the disease in first place.
If we get hit with death or divorce, many of us try to ignore it, self-medicate it away, or pretend it didn’t happen instead of seeing the hidden opportunity in the unfortunate circumstance to re-examine life, process the grief and suffering, and come back to our grounded center.
Unaddressed, we get ripped apart slowly from within loosing purpose and meaning in life until things get so bad that we either have a full break down OR we get the courage to ask for help to get out of the dark night of the soul. We are being called to make a change in our lives, up to us whether we answer that calling or leave it up to chance to hoping we get to the other side.
When we address the 4 D’s and find someone we trust to guide us through these dark times, we can change the trajectory of our lives. By looking beneath the darkness of whatever has happened, there is a message coming to us that we don’t want to hear or face.
Those of you know my own personal story, know that these statements are coming from a place of truth and knowing that there is a way out of any of the 4 D’s if we are willing and able to ask for the help, put in the work to get there, and see that wholeness comes from within.
When we stay stuck, push back, say everything is fine, ignore the problem, or self-medicate, this is our pride, resistance, and our ego standing in full protest to keep us in undesirable situations. There are solutions to anything that appears in our lives IF we have open mind to a find a new way, new beliefs, and start the journey.
Yet, many people would rather go on with life and pretend XYZ didn’t happen, until one day it gets out of control and unbearable and they have no choice but to address what is really happening OR loose life as they know it. That’s when I get the call.
To be willing to be guided through such times, without understanding the how, what, or why, is key to being able to trust the process without understanding it fully. People who are willing and able to do whatever it takes to make it through, can heal and get to the other side of some terrible circumstances they have found themselves in.
In creating connections with my clients through trust, support, and various methods and tools, a light at the end of the never-ending tunnel emerges. Things they were once unable to do change, a new foundation and inner strength is re-created to call upon to get to the other side, to be come whole again, have a new outlook on life, and a place to belong. A life that is light and fluid rather than dark and draining.
I’m sure as you are reading this some friends, loved ones, or even yourself come to mind whom these situations and scenarios will resonate with. Pass this email along to them so they can see that there is a person in their corner they can trust to get out of the 4 D’s and make this year the best one yet.