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  • Writer's pictureAlicia Londos

Do We Focus on Our Strengths or Our Weaknesses?

Updated: Aug 22, 2023

I came across the below passage the other day, and it reminded me of how many opportunities present themselves day after day pushing us to move forward in life, no matter what life throws our way. Some circumstances we can use to build our strengths, while others may be reinforcing our weaknesses. Where is your focus? Your strengths or your weaknesses?

“You are allowed to break. Everything does. The stars grow tired and fall. The waves crash against rocks and shores. Trees fall for both storms and wind leaving behind seeds and saplings so a version of them may grow again. Storm clouds part for the rain then part for the sun to come through. Night must break for day and day for night in a cycle. The world is made of broken things piecing themselves back together – this is what gives us the most resilient stories. So why do you think that you were made any differently than the night and the storm clouds? You know how to put yourself back together again, too, just as well as they do. Take heart that you have managed to rebuild yourself a thousand times after every bad day. That is no small thing.” Nikita Gill

While reading this we are reminded that all of life is a cycle, it ebbs and flows. Recognizing our weaknesses or difficult things that happen in life allows us to grow and transform. Seeing and nurturing our strengths allows us to build a life where we thrive and feel fulfilled day to day.

· Are we stuck in repeating patterns of self-pity, loathing, and losing trust in ourselves?

· OR do we allow ourselves to change, transform, let go, move on, heal, and thrive every day we wake up?

· Are focusing on our weaknesses and letting them dictate the life we live?

· OR do we intently focus on our strengths and develop them each day?

We have the opportunity every day to choose, what we do with that opportunity is up to us.

I’m reminded of a client’s story where she was losing confidence in her day-to-day life and struggling to get by. I had her reflect and write down things from the past where she felt similar feelings and she remembered a time in grade school when she was having a really hard time. Back in 2nd grade, she had to go to school with a blackeye for picture day. Who would think a 2nd grader would have a black eye, but it happened…

To make herself feel better, she wore a jean jacket covered in rhinestones that her mom made for her. When she got to school, she was bullied and made fun of because of her homemade jacket. The kids were saying that she was poor, stupid, and all those mean things kids say. It was all too much, so she took off the jacket and threw it out because of the girls making fun of her. In doing this she lost a piece of herself that day. She gave up her jacket to try to fit in, all while losing herself in the process. She told me later found art, and she painted and painted because no one could take that away from her. She created whatever came to her mind. It was hers, she could trust it, and could always come back to it when she needed.

She painted me a picture to tell a story of what she would like to do to the bullies who made fun of her all the time so that for once she could turn the tables on them. We later burned the drawing in a healing fire to begin releasing the long-felt pain from being bullied back then and in many other areas of her life. As you read this, you can imagine this was not a peaceful painting at all, but you can see the power that art can have. It helps us to see and work through anything that is impacting our life or stifling our strength, courage, and power from within.

After sharing her story, I reminded her of how art helped her in the past to gain back her trust and confidence in herself and how now, getting back to her art and being creative in all areas of her life can help her today as she focuses on her strengths, instead of the weaknesses. In doing this she was able to recontextualize her story and change the ending so that she kept her art, kept her rhinestone jean jacket, wasn’t bullied anymore, and found the trust in herself from within so that she could heal and never be bullied again. She allowed her strength and creativity to help her rebuild her life.

All of us on the journey of life need help along the way to get from where we are to where we want to be and see that we are complete and whole. It is OK to accept help when we need it and receive guidance along the way. Don’t get stuck in fear, comfort, or thinking that you are always right. There may be a more rewarding path than your current circumstances.

If you find yourself stuck in a place where weaknesses are overshadowing your life, reach out so we can rebuild your life full of strength and courage.

Set up a Connect Session today to focus on your strengths and overcome what isn’t. The wall you are trying to climb isn't as daunting as it may seem.



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