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  • Writer's pictureAlicia Londos

Are We Waiting to be Saved, or Actively Owning Our Lives?

Each day we have the opportunity to take responsibility for what happens, realize what’s actually happening in relationships (personal and professional), work through the internal stuff that’s boiling over at 110F, and take the needed steps to make lasting change.

If we think about the idea of garbage, we toss it in the trash bin, not giving it a second thought, and wait for the garbage man to pick it up. It’s not our responsibility where it goes after that. All we have to do is bag it up and toss it out. We don’t care where it goes, as long as it's gone and not sitting in our house, it's not our problem.


This metaphor can be applied to how we live our lives. How many of us bag up “ZYX” and wait for someone else to deal with it, some lawyer to save us, some institution to come to our rescue, or someone else to be responsible so we don’t have to deal with the shit storm happening in life?


If we bag up our problems, issues, secrets, what keeps us up at night, and wait for someone else to clean up the mess, we're not taking responsibility for what’s happening, we will forever be playing the infantile game of waiting for someone else to save us.


Asking for help and guidance along the way is far different than waiting for someone to save you. The asking and reaching out is taking an active role in improving day-to-day life for the better and taking ownership of the outcomes. On the other hand, some would rather settle for a mediocre existence of thinking if this is as good as it’s going to get, or settle for a life of secret suffering.


We are not meant to be in constant suffering in this life. We are not meant to live with that voice in our heads telling us over and over we aren’t good enough, not worthy, don’t have value, and that punishes us with the endless chatter as it keeps us up in the wee hours of the night going on and on about what we didn’t do, didn’t say, didn’t act, etc. 


Lots of people out there talk about inner work, mindfulness, meditation, and all those esoteric things that many people cannot connect with or don't yet understand. All of those are important and have their place, but to get there seems fleeting for many if they have never experienced it before or been guided through those experiences in the first place in a safe place.


As one of my clients so eloquently put it when she was crawling out of her downward spiral of suffering. "All those things seemed like foo foo psychobabble bullshit foisted on her by a controlling, mentally abusive, and narcissistic now ex-husband". When these ideas come from the wrong container, mistrusted intent, or are being used to control someone, it will be met hard with resistance, annoyance, pain, and more suffering. 


On the other hand, when these tools are used for their correct intent, for healing, and come from a safe and trusted place, what unfolds is a completely different story. When the help, guidance, and tools are aligned with what the client really needs and the client actively does the inner work, these components together are the secret sauce that allows them to experience new insight, new revelations, new opportunities, and new energy to heal from whatever is weighing them down or sucking the life out of them. 


During these shifts, clients are finally able to see in truth what has really happened, the repeating patterns, what’s linked in their story of life, what’s running in the background dictating their choices, and realize how things from the past can affect present-day life. They all experience ah-ha moments, kickstart the healing process, and tap into what their true path is in this life.


It’s not about just talking about the problem over and over; it’s about moving to the solution that’s a win-win for everyone involved. It doesn’t matter what has happened, there is always a solution to get to the other side even if we don’t want to see it or cannot see it.


  • Maybe it's finally seeing your self-worth and building self-esteem.

  • Maybe it's letting go of someone from the past we wronged (or who has wronged us).

  • Maybe its working through grief, sorrow, loss, or trauma once and for all so the healing can begin, instead of waiting for the “right time” to start.

  • Maybe it’s taking back control over your decisions and how you live your life.

  • Maybe it's doing the inner work to improve yourself to see all relationships around you improve.

  • Maybe it's leaving toxic relationships and recognizing the repetitive patterns that got you there.

  • Maybe it’s releasing fear that drives you to hold and protect the secrets ripping life apart.

  • Maybe it’s seeing a light at the end of the tunnel to heal from chronic illnesses.

  • Maybe it’s forging your own career instead of accepting some crappy job or waiting for an inheritance check to come in.

  • Maybe it’s finally seeing that you are good enough just as you are and bring joy back into your life.

  • Maybe it's cutting ties with people who no longer fit your life (weeding the garden) and actively forging new ones that align with your new path.

  • Maybe it’s taking back your responsibility for how your life unfolds instead of waiting for someone else to save you.


These above are just some of the examples my clients have worked through to find the best solution to overcome what they have been dealing with.


When you take responsibility to address and take out your own trash and heavy baggage you’ve been carrying for too long, the maybes and possibilities are endless to new paths that can be taken. One thing is true, when you do the inner work and dig deep, the outcomes are amazingly beautiful for the life that you can create for yourself (and your loved ones). 

Thanks ~Alicia

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