Are We Stuck in the Past?
Updated: Aug 22
If we remember the Bruce Springsteen song, Glory Days, it has such relevance today even though it was written in the 80’s. The song is a about a man looking back on high school as the glory days, and its a story of people who hit their peak early in life looking to relive those days. They reminisce over and over, trying to recreate the feeling of “way back when.” It’s about people who have never moved beyond the ole glory, hoping that the magic and memories keep them alive and relevant, but ﬁnd that not to be the case.
Many of my clients have lost the drive, fire, purpose, and meaning in their lives and have chosen consciously (or unconsciously) be run by fears and beliefs foisted on them from others. How often do we hear people say, “I just want to go back to the way things were.”
It’s like someone saying they want to go back to life when they weren’t married, didn’t have kids, didn’t get in an accident, didn’t get divorced, didn’t get sick, or didn’t lose their job. Or like saying they want to go back to the glory days of high school or college and had no responsibilities.
Do people realize what they are wishing for? Why would we want to live in the past?
There is nothing to go back to, the past doesn’t exist and is just a fragment of our imagination keeping us going round and round stagnant in life. The past has already happened. As humans we are meant to grow in life and see that all that matters is the here and now and what we do with it.
When working with my clients, I listen carefully for the words they use when they speak. When people continually refer to the past, it seems they are spending their lives wishing and hoping for something to return OR blaming themselves for things that they did or didn’t do.
We cannot go back to the past, for even a second. We cannot change anything, yet we can learn from it. Whatever we did or didn’t do, it is a part of our history. Longing for the good ole days does not promote or give rise to growth. The past is gone and are just memories that make up our history and personal perception of life.
Whether the times of the past are the glory days or ones of suffering, these times of the past are just that… the past. We can wish all we want, but we need to realize there are no do-overs, we cannot hit replay, the past has happened, and every day we wake up in life we need to move forward towards growth.
This “in-between stage” is something we can recognize for what it is and use it help to move us forward to come out the other side in our present life. If we spend our time resisting, kicking, screaming, and wishing…. None of this will help us on our path.
Maybe the thing from the past is an event or thing that you had no control over, but it is our choice how we respond to it and learn from it. By realizing and working to bring the below points into our lives, we can get unstuck, overcome our past, create transformation, and move towards lasting growth and positive change.
· We don’t need permission from others to do what we want in and with our lives.
· We don’t need to be accepted by the majority.
· Strive to fill our lives with joy daily, rather than stagnating fear and monotony.
· Find the power within to grant ourselves permission and let our inner greatness shine in all we do.
· Push ourselves to give our best effort in every day of our lives.
No matter if the memories are good or bad, we cannot allow the past to consume our lives and overshadow our present moments. When we allow this overshadowing to happen, we lose the ability to see the truth and beauty of the here and here and now and experience the present to the fullest degree.
When we move forward from the past that binds us, we have the ability to create our life anew and a life that far exceeds anything that has weighed us down over the years. Allowing this shift gives way to create purpose and meaning in our life, and create a life exists in our present reality…. not just in our dreams.
If you find yourself feeling like the past if casting a shadow over your here and now, reach out and set up a "Connect session" with me.
"Your coaching has transformed my life and given so much insight. I felt such a release physically and emotionally during our Connect Sessions and gained insight on how life can be so much more when fear, the past, and being stuck are released. I was clinging to the past so much that it paralyzed me in this present life, and was blind to the impacts all of this had on my life. The art, mental, and physical training guided and helped me to overcome many burdens and find the strength to make needed changes for the better (both personally and professionally). I realized I allowed other peoples’ fears to influence my life and decisions, and inherently stealing my freedom. I’m grateful to be guided to find the power within myself to move forward, rather than staying stagnant. Your program has helped me get to where I want and need to be, and my marriage has benefited immensely as well!” Kendra, USA